Poor Teddy. Rough night.

Two dead wigs on a wet curb

Santa Monica. Christmas week.

Believe!

Don't be alarmed; it's just a rental while my car is repaired

Yo! What-Up, Football???

Okay I understand, but I'm getting a little tired of all the quizzical looks when I express my newfound (and admittedly obsessive) love … of FOOTBALL!

Agreed, I've spent the better part of my life being at best indifferent and pretty much adamantly avoiding sports of any variety. Sure, I was a Cubs fan as a kid, and we sorta followed the Blackhawks too (although I've still never seen a live hockey game). I've never been a sporty person, and besides being a yoga enthusiast I have no athletic abilities of my own.

Fast forward to sometime last fall, when I fell in with a group of ruffians who, among other things, are generational supporters of the Green Bay Packers.

If you read anything I wrote here last year, you may have heard me refer to last year as The Year Of Saying Yes.

So after a lifetime of saying No to football, I said Yes. Or at least Why Not?

It didn't hurt that my friends were buddies with a couple of the players, and that my very first live football game was the Packers/Arizona playoff game, which I viewed from the 45 yard line, no more than a dozen rows up, in the players' seats, sitting with the players' families and friends.

We wore jerseys given to us by The Real Guys and we were stoked. I'd seen portions of a few games and had a basic understanding of the rules.

And guess what?

I freaking LOVED it.

And for the record, whoever said football is boring is full of crap.

"We" lost that playoff game, but I still followed the rest of the season. In February I went to my first Super Bowl party, at which I never took my eye off the game.

And when this season started I was READY.

With the exception of my birthday weekend, I have seen every Packers game. I have the cap in the back window of my car, and I wear my zip-up Packers hoodie with great pride. I get texts with team updates and of course live coverage of the games.

I love this damned game!

Every single game I've seen has been seat-edge exciting. I figured coming in and learning at the playoffs last year meant every game would be more exciting; that I was lucky to have missed the "boring" regular season play. But I've yet to think one game is even the least bit slow.

Maybe it's just me coming off a lifetime of disappointment as a Cubs fan: The Packers WIN. And whether they win or lose, they're still a great team so the games are all goddamned thrilling.

Yeah, I have a lot to learn about the plays and the strategy, but I have to tell you I am Hopped Up On Football even now. I watch and follow the games, I read up on the stats and the predictions and the history, and I know what I'm talking about when I talk football with people.

I'm enjoying the hell out of this, can't wait for game day, and am jumping out of my skin at the possibility of seeing a game at Lambeau.

Plus, I'm completely in love with Clay Matthews. But nevermind that; he lives too far from LA for that to work.

This weekend the Pack goes up against the 49ers and of course I hope they give them what they gave the Cowboys last month. Or what they gave the Vikings the week after, WHICH WAS DELICIOUS. I know the history with San Francisco, I know the 49ers haven't beaten Green Bay since 2000, but I also know about That One Time they really made it count.

So I'm hopeful but not complacent. Every game needs to be won on game day, so Don't Get Cocky, and fer chrissakes enough with those penalties already boys – because I'll be watching – and yelling –

GO PACK!

Standing barefoot on a prayer rug

... in an alley in Santa Monica. 

Facing (I can only guess) Mecca, and mumbling prayers.

I support your right to do it, Dude, but I'm not gonna pretend I'm not a little creeped out. 

Winter in Los Angeles

Sunny, clear, breezy, upper 70s - and Time to run the penguin!

My birthday dinner valet ticket

Um, yeah. A Microphone. Right.

Tukish Van - the cat that SWIMS. On purpose.

I see him more as a David Niven

Ended up adopting this little scamp!

Once you get to know him, though, the Dali is more apt than the Niven.

Heavenly ray of light: accidental?

Chill AFTER drinking???

Ok I get "chill before drinking." But AFTER?

I'd see a doctor about that if I were you

I guess DEAD is the new FAIL

Poor parking meter!

I want to say I'm too sophisticated to find this funny. Alas, I cannot.

(yes, that IS a German Whoopie Cushion)

If only they all came with a book

I'm just so naughty

I know I shouldn't, but I simply can't resist -

Released today, the publicity shot for the new Lindsay Lohan comedy, "Three Hots and a Cot."

Limited production schedule, subject to change....

Horrible? Or Wonderful?

I stopped short of getting the "mint chocolate chip ice cream" but am willing to give this a shot.

UPSHOT:

Although I did enjoy feeling like Veruca Salt, trying Willy Wonka's "meal in a stick of gum," this particular gum just didn't deliver much.

The initial flavor was just sort of limey, then if I really tried I could kind of add my own graham cracker overtones -

And then it was gone.

Almost immediately the gum went from flavor to nothing, and got that stiff yucky Old Gum feel.

In, out, and over in I'd say probably about a minute. Not exactly a stellar performance.

I JUST DO EYES!

I’m not sure if I saw “Blade Runner” first or went to LA Eyeworks first, but both left a profound impression on me.

My flesh crawling crowd loathing keeps me from witnessing what I’m certain can only be a Lucy-Show-esque spectacle (OUCH!) once or twice a year when they put Last Year’s Models on sale and let their mailing list have at them like a pack of ravenous wolves. Me, I prefer to shop in a much more civilized manner.

The price of such civilization? About $600 a pair, out the door with a progressive prescription installed and some ridiculous glasses case (one had a merkin, and another I continue to call “Elton John’s Coffin”).

Maybe you’re lucky and don’t need a prescription, so you get pretend glasses or sunglasses for just a few bucks over the frame price (which is still well over $300 most of the time). Worth every penny, says I, since I’m not the kind of person who loses or sits on glasses.

(Well there was that one time, and the LAE gods were smiling that day, because two years later They Had One Last Pair of the ones I lost – the red and pink sunglasses here.)

And although Mark Twain never shopped there, I’m sure he’d agree that any other optician vs. LAE might also be the difference between lightning and lightning bugs.

I’m a huge fan of their whole zipper tooth theme, and love the black sunglasses because they remind me of the top of Nancy’s head – not that anyone remembers Nancy any more, but still. And I do, dammit.

Will the stores still be standing when replicants come for their parents? Not sure. I’m loyal to the Beverly store, and I think Roy Batty shops on Melrose anyway.

All I know is I’m glad they’re here now.

Does MAC have my number

Or what?

(Got this in the mail. At the mall this morning!)

The Holy Trinity

> Grilled Cheese, Stewed Tomatoes, Old Fashioned Cocktail!
>

Responsible

Unfortunately we shall never see tonight's Filter episode.

One if the topics was that girl presently lost at sea. I said
something like, "Yeah sure you want to assert your independence, But
now we're expected to come save your sorry ass when you get into
trouble." Or something like that.

For sure I said, "come save your sorry ass."

"A touch insensitive," they said. They would have preferred I focus my
criticism on the parents.

I did criticize the parents, but they (show producers) thought I was
too harsh.

Truth is this kind of showboating IS an act if hubris (which I also
said on-air). It's stupid and dangerous for anyone of any age or
gender to try it. That's kind of the point.

(I Would like to know why her age and/or gender play a role in what's
appropriate to say and what's not.)

And of course if she'd been successful (like her brother and many
others before her) everyone would applaud and no one would ever have
the nerve to question the wisdom of any of it.

I said I felt bad and of course hope for her safe return (which of
course I do), but this was a bad idea She knew the risk and took it
voluntarily!

Life lesson was Supposed to be about taking responsibility!

Oh well.

I feel bad, not about my opinions, but because a lot of people work
hard on that show and this one got scrapped because of me.

For that I'm truly sorry.

UPDATE:

Abby is located and safe.

Now can we talk about why this is dangerous and stupid, for ANYONE to have attempted?

Beachy Mood / Moody Beach

Hoping you don't have to have a Flickr account to view this -

(my little photo set)

My momentary mental health break at the beach.

Irony Department:

This would prove one of the most stressful and eventful days of my life.

No idea any of it was going on while I was at the beach....

June Gloom

Poetry. Or maybe Drama:

They had other colors too

But the names weren't as good. And no blonde, btw (wouldn't have
bought it even if they did).

On the job today

Even while we're not

If you need to, you'll get it

He's not sleeping

LOST Last Supper

Even the cats got into the show (note one black plate, one white plate)

Uh, Oh - Me and my big mouth again

... this time at Canter's, as part of the Metblogs "24 hours of Canter's" Blog-a-Thon.

Everything was going smoothly, Travis was shooting a nice video ...

Then I opened my trap, and, well, see for yourself:



And I really should add that Daniel, our waiter, was superb. HE's not what I was talking about.

The Filter: May 18, 2010

Here's last night's "What You Talkin' Bout, Arizona?" Filter episode, in which David Reese and I violently agree yet again. Presented in the usual two links, and, should you prefer, embedded:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xztfcCHwTRw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V19x8mw7eHc

Part One



Part Two

Yet another Episode of The Filter!

Here's the latest episode of The Filter with me and the way-too-handsome David Reese, airdate May 13, 2010.

I finally figured out how to embed video, but here's a screen grab and of course the usual links (show in two parts):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a7e4WvbGjc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_peTYi-6Ls


HUGE BUMMER DEPARTMENT: The segment in which we discuss the proposed $700Mil park over the downtown freeway got cut off.

Believe me I was Smashing in that one!

And, of course, in color!

What could possibly be more thrilling?

Only the coolest thing IN THE GODDAMNED WORLD

Apparently Alfred E. Neuman is left handed

Gleeps!

Giant Granny Panties!

The Filter - Tax Day Edition (in which we didn't talk about Tax Day)

In case you didn't know, episodes of The Filter almost always cover four topics.

Today was a slow news day, but we still managed to get so hot under the collar about our first three topics that we ran long and never made it to the fourth, which was supposed to be the Tea Party phenomenon, and whether these guys were helping or hurting the Republican Party.

No matter, the first three were enough.

So come with me now, on a journey through Time and Space - oh wait, that's something completely else.

This is the April 15th episode of The Filter, broken into two segments as usual. And I even figured out how to embed them so you can watch from here!

Part One, in which I admit I am A JEW!

and Part Two, in which Charlotte and I debate return shipping policies on human beings (I'm against it).

(my what a lovely screen shot you harvested, Jared....)

TS Eliot ... reads Prufrock

Oh, YouTube --

Is there anything you Don't have???

Treme?

Tre may not.

Watched the pilot and was underwhelmed.

Expecting brass, got lead.

But The Wire was tough to get into too, and I think that's one if the
top five things ever on television, so I'll give Treme a little more
time.

UPDATE:

Watched it again, this time all the way through.

Upgraded to Tre Maybe.

The Bikini I Ordered on Saturday

Unfortunately, No matter WHAT I do I will never be this awesome.

Heck the 'fro alone puts this chick into the stratosphere of coolness.

But I can wear the bikini.

And dream.

Anton LaVey

Friend, confidante, and today, Birthday Princess.

HAIL ANTON LA VEY!

Even Nature's Assholes Have to Sleep Sometime

UPDATE:

Turns out the little criminal had distemper.

Animal Control came and shot it!

Best Tattoo Idea -

The iPad Cometh

So I know a lot of geeks.

Besides Xeni, who is cool beyond recordable temperature readings (she got an advance one), I was confident that at least one of my friends would have the iPad the moment it was released.

Guess what? I was right!

The story I got was that he was on his way to buy a juicer - yeah, that's the ticket - when he ran into a stranger at the mall. Said stranger was unmistakably carrying a still-warm iPad, when my friend approached and asked how bad the line was for them at the Apple store.

"No line at all," was the response, and well, I don't guess I have to tell you that my buddy Mike still doesn't have a juicer.

But he does have an iPad.

And he also has a Sprint Hotspot card, which means we all spent the better part of Sunday surfing with the iPad in a restaurant, at his house, and of course, while traveling well above the speed limit on the 405 (yay for high-speed iPad twittering).

Friends, I was prepared to pooh-pooh the Pad.

No camera (so no Skype), no Flash no 3G. "Too big to be small and too small to be big," said I, in general useless except as a toy, and of course the still-true-of-Apple rule "never buy the first iteration; it's only half-baked" - all of which vanished as soon as I held it and started messing with it.

The truth is that even in its infancy, this thing is mind-rippingly awesome.

Dumb iPhone apps I love (Koi Pond and that goddamned Bejeweled game) are downright thrilling at twice their size. And sorry, Kindle, but reading on this thing is just fantastic.

The size is perfect (smaller than I expected, so it really will fit in even a smallish handbag) and the image quality is surprisingly high-def. Watching movies or tv shows on this is a dream.

The clincher? How about being able to use That Squeezy Thing on the MAP app, having the map in a size you can actually SEE instead of squinting at your phone and swearing?

Dammit. Looks like they just sold me an iPad....

(well, maybe one of the third iterations)

What you missed at Clifton's today

(besides the cool Gene Sculatti artwork)

Just wrapped another episode of The Filter

Check me out, with my new lighting array, ready to go live with tonight's episode of The Filter.

I was on with Megan Barth, who was a lot of fun. I always feel bad when I don't disagree with the people they schedule me against, but I think we manage to make things interesting even without disagreements.

Tonight topics:

(duh) the new Obabmacare debacle,

Deborah Pauly saying "applauding Healthcare is like applauding rape,"

The unfortunate shooting of a disabled man by LAPD (surprise - I'm on the cops' side - again) and

Rancho Cucamonga (a place I only know about because of Bugs Bunny) has yet another rally against amnesty for illegal aliens.

Technical demons were at play, but here are the Youtube links:

Part One and

Part Two

Also, The Filter will be on NBC on Sunday nights at 11:30pm, featuring the
highlight moments of the week's shows.

Sure hope I make it in!

Saturday - TwentyWonder!

I posted about this on LAVA already, but here's a little something here too, just to let you know about the coolest party in the world, happening right here in your own back yard (provided you live in front of the Veterans Memorial Building in Culver City) -

TWENTYWONDER!

http://www.twentywonder.org/

Oh, Jury Duty!

You take me to the nicest places

The beauty of repetition - or is that the other way around?

You really do find the most disgusting things

Just lying on the sidewalk. No idea why this array was visibly Moist
either....

I have the awesomest taste in music

Yeah, you're seeing that right.

Happy New Year!

Bring it on, Tiger -

Madonna sez

Here's one, emailed from the phone.

Yay, technology!

Today, Grocery Store

New chocolate Cheerios: not dark enough, plus no discernible Negro Dialect