Today, Grocery Store

New chocolate Cheerios: not dark enough, plus no discernible Negro Dialect

THIS IS WHAT I WANT

Years ago I was working for a Vietnamese man whose very nature precluded him from ever “getting” me, which was fine and of course irrelevant.

One thing I loved about him though, was what I could only guess was something he’d been saying his whole life, a phrase so common to him that he didn’t even hear himself say it any more, and that was probably only a word or two in his native language –

Every conversation with him opened with him saying, “This is what I want.”

Not a sentence though, more of a single word, spoken fast, run together, and although he did actually mean it, it was clear he was saying it reflexively, not intentionally. And yet he meant every word.

I immediately loved it – he was casting a spell – preparing the ground so his words would take root and he would get what he wanted. Clueless as he was to this (or not), I picked up on it and took it as a valuable lesson. I say it often, and I have to say it really does clear the decks and increase the chance that what I say after will actually come to pass. People want to please you; but more than that if they hear your intentions they are compelled to give you what you ask for.

Years later, at the Church of Satan’s infamous 6-6-06 Black Mass, I heard a new and flashy (replete with fire) variation on the old spell:

Rex Church ended each of his spells by shouting, “Such is my decree!”

Didn’t take me long to adopt that one either. Much more dramatic, but it’s the same principle - and it works.

I’m no hippie, but I expect positive results in this life and I consistently get them. Announcing my intentions and placing my concise order with the Universe dramatically increases my success rate.

Be specific. Ask for what you want, then watch as you get it. Be sure to acknowledge your spell – that you cast it and that it worked. The Universe wants to feel appreciated too.

You might also prick up your ears to what others ask for and think about delivering that once in a while. (It’s a two-way street you know.)

So what the heck – it’s a new year and a new decade.

Lay it out and get cracking.

Ah, the raccoons -

Came home last night, caught SEVEN huge raccoons having their company Christmas party in my fountain.

They are truly NATURE'S ASSHOLES!

Turn the corner....

Okay, so it’s not, “Milk, milk, lemonade,” but Really?

“Number One and Number Two?”

Pretty amazing.

(spotted at the Disney Concert Hall downtown)

Here's the post on Metblogs

Haiku from last Friday

My haiku from last Friday night:

Wrap the wrong present

and the five-year-old instead

Gets the vodka set

New post up on Metblogs

Just when you thought you'd never see another, here's my latest post on LA Metblogs.

They've been more than patient with me not filling my quota over there, and for that I am eternally grateful.

So go check them out.

12/07

today's haiku?
I'm just not feeling the KU
so much as the HAI